Ninety nine percent of weddings is "all about the girl"....but you have a big responsiblity too, and not many resources to tell you how to manage your "groomhood." We are here to help! From helping in the planning process, managing your best man and groomsmen, to handling the in-laws, we have advice that is a must read for our young grooms.
*What is your role during the planning process? If you are the average guy, you want to have a say in a few things, but mostly, you want your bride to have the wedding of her dreams. It is a great idea to take a few things off her plate. Offer to handle transportation and DJ details so she has a few less things to worry about. You should also handle making the arrangements for the honeymoon (but where you go should be a decision you make together!) The rehearsal dinner is traditionally something your parent(s) handle, so chip in on the planning there, keeping your future wife's preferences in mind. It is important that you give input when it matters to you. Don't be afraid to step in and say how you feel.
*It can be tough to appease everyone on both sides of the family when planning such an important affair. When your parents try to get too involved, or go against what your bride wants, try to stay on her side. It is important to be united even before the "I do's" and you will have a happier, less stressed bride if you always put her needs first. Make sure you handle communication with your family.
*How do I choose my best man and groomsmen? When you have a big family, it can often be expected that you choose family members to stand up for you. Your bride may wish for you to include some of her male friends or family. It is important that whomever you choose, that they are responsible and respectful enough to fulfill their duties for the wedding throughout the process. Being in the party is more than showing up for the ceremony :)
*The groom's party is expected to pay for and be measured for their own attire. Tux rental is relatively inexpensive and most places are nation wide so that you may be fitted wherever you live.
*It is expected that the groomsmen attend all the couple's pre-wedding festivities, including the engagement party, couple's shower, bachelor party and rehearsal dinner.
*The groomsmen should help plan the bachelor party and be respectful of what the groom wants. Make sure your friends and family involved know your expectations. Tip: NEVER have your bachelor party the night before the wedding!!! Give yourself a week to recover :)
*They are expected to be courteous, show up on time, where they are expected to be, ready and able to serve their duties. They may be asked to seat your guests, answer questions or directives from vendors, guests, or family members. They are to be a part of your pictures, toasts, dances and videos of the day, so make sure you have chosen guys who will stay in "good shape" for the entire event.
*You are going to be a much happier groom if you spend time throughout the planning process pampering your bride. Every few weeks or once a month, take her out for a special dinner, get her a massage or spa day, bring home her favorite wine and some takeout and have a romantic picnic...buy her a special present or bring her flowers (REMEMBER what she is using in her bridal bouquet, and send her THOSE to work as a preview!)
*You should get your parents, groomsmen, and future bride a gift for the big day. These serve not only as "thank-you's" for being there for you, and helping pay for and participate in the wedding, but also as a gift from the heart that reflects your gratitude for the role they play in your life. Give this loads of thought, and get your bride's input. The parents should receive their gift at the rehearsal dinner the night before, the groomsmen should get their gifts while getting ready with you, and your bride should have a surprise delivery the morning of the wedding (or while she is getting ready) of your gift with a sweet love note :)
*After all your efforts, you will have a wonderful wedding to remember! If during the process, you find you or your bride seem overwhelmed with the details, consider hiring a planner :)
Happy Planning, Tiffany
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